But not really... I wish I could always be there for people, but I always seem to be gone somehow. Just like how everybody else is. I feel that everyone is always off doing something now. Sleeping when I'm awake, awake when I'm asleep, gone when I'm there, and there when I'm gone. All of our schedules are on opposite sides of the universe. No wonder everybody likes to generally keep the same schedule, (like being awake during the day, eating meals at certain times, though I don't do that, I eat when I feel like it, which most of the time now is never.) because it's easier to keep in contact with other people!

Whatever. I suppose my family should matter more right now than my friends. I don't even know the people I'm going to be around today though, and I'm not even closely related to them, so it doesn't make that much of a difference to me if I'm there with them or not. But, I'm going to be, and I have to make a fool out of myself to entertain them, so they can like me. That's the only way, I can't actually express myself, I have to fit into a mold for them. I'll try my best not to, I don't enjoy being silly with strangers, because they don't understand my sense of humor. Or maybe I'm just self-concious and they actually do, and just don't know how to show it. I don't know. I don't know a lot right now. Something is changing, I can feel it, I just haven't figured out exactly what it is yet. Maybe it's me, because everything else is how it usually is.

So, I don't think I'm going to enjoy today, but that's fine, that's what tomorrow is there for. I'm real excited for Lollapalooza, (excuse me if that isn't spelled right. I'm not used to a computer without a spell checker. Lame, I know.) even though I've only heard of three bands there tomorrow, but that's fine, I've been quite desperate for some new music lately.

Don't worry, there's nothing to fill anybody in on my trip so far. It's just sitting around visiting, missing people, and feeling too full from all of the good food here.